My Mom

Well, on Friday December 5th 2008 at 3:02pm my mom passes away. My mom and I had a pretty good relationship when I was a kid but the older I got the rougher it got. As I had written in my previous blogs that she had been in the hospital with a brain aneurysm and had lung cancer on top of that. But neither of these things are what took her. We were sitting in the 'consult' room in the ICU which is never good, and the Nero doctor advised us that her brain had been deprived of oxygen and she had major brain damage and was in a vegetative state. At that point the family debated and decided that it would be best if we took her tracheotomy out and let her go. Thirty minutes later she was gone. I sat there holding her hand the entire time telling her that I loved her and it was okay to go home. I have cried a little but I don't think that it has fully hit me yet. On the other hand I have become much closer with God in the last couple of weeks through all of this and know she is in a better place now. I am sure the viewing and funeral will be hard, but if it wasn't would I have a heart? I have been going through some old pictures and found one of my mom sitting on the couch playing with Mikayla when she was about 7 months old. Our relationship was very sporadic at best but I know she tried but there were a lot of things playing into all of her hate and anger than I knew at the time. Since my mom's passing on Friday I have learned a lot about her childhood and things she went through. But I do know this, as my uncle Phil tells me all the time there is no place for hate in your life, it will just eat you up. That is why I have forgiven my mom for everything that happened between us, it doesn't mean I have to forget them, I just have to let it go and move forward.
I will miss my mom dearly, but we will be together again one day with no harsh feelings and nothing but love.
Rest in Peace Mom..... I love you.